Doctor Maya Angelou once pointed out that people will forget what you said and what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
This statement is important to remember because it does not end with your close personal relationships. It is true for everything we do, as we interact with others all the time. From the way you record your voice mail to the way you sell a deal, people don’t just “hear” the words you say or “see” your body language. They actually “feel” how passionate or non-passionate you are about a given topic.
Passion is contagious. You cannot inspire others unless you are inspired yourself. You stand a much better chance of persuading someone that you can, for instance, close that deal if you express an enthusiastic, passionate and believable connection to what you are conveying.
You see, we as humans respond more to what we FEEL more than anything we hear or see. To make a difference in this business, it comes down to your ability to master the transfer of energy between you and your audience. And it doesn’t matter if it’s one person or a stadium of 35,000 people. You can call this energy obsession, excitement or even vision. I call it influence. You can use influence to get someone to feel about your deal, your mission, your vision, the way you feel about it. It becomes a transfer of energy from the center of your being to the center of theirs.
Most people do not understand the outcome of words. They are trying hard to get people to HEAR the words they are saying. The secret is to stop getting people to hear you and get them to feel what you are saying. Think about it: You could be telling people a factual thing about a historical fact. If your audience does not feel you believe it, they will not get on board with what you are saying.
Your passion is core to your self identity. It defines you. You cannot separate the pursuit from who you are. It’s core to your being. This is the energy you need to transfer to others if you are going to persuade and win deals.
So, what I’m actually telling you is that in order to influence somebody, they don’t even have to believe what you’re saying. They have to believe that you believe what you’re saying. The greatest persuaders know this and now you do too.
If people feel you are desperate or you can’t close that deal you have an eye on, it will be picked up and will kill the transaction. This is the type of energy that will not influence somebody to sell you that deal.
If you are a genuine believer in what you are doing, you can evangelize your vision. You can clearly say what and how you will close that deal with confidence. But you have to physically be experiencing it in the moment. It can’t just be a reading from a script. I get that when you are first starting out, you will need to lean on books for your message, but you must believe in what you are doing. The action of moving passion is an ENERGY transfer. You can’t transfer to someone if you don’t have it yourself.
If you want to increase your influence and close more deals, you need to invest time in your own belief, in your research, and in your knowledge. That way you can transfer your passion and energy to other people!
Anyway, do you think you sound believable when you are talking to lenders or sellers? Are you in any training programs to help build your confidence? Let me know in the comments.
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